Formerly "To China For Kelly"

When I originally set up this blog, it was to chronicle our trip to China to adopt our daughter, Kelly; thus the title, "To China For Kelly." But now that I've decided to keep it up as my on-line scrapbook/journal, the title needs updating.
Inspired by my girls, who, despite their ten year age difference, both love lollipops and lip gloss; it is now titled, "From Lollipops to Lip Gloss." This is not to leave my son out, who also loves lollipops, but isn't too big on lip gloss, understandably!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

It’s raining as I’m typing this. It’s 3:50 PM on June 17th in Guangzhou…12:50 AM California time. Kelly’s napping, and Clint’s studying. We have some Visa paperwork to do later on; then a group dinner tonight. Tomorrow we take the traditional red couch photos with our travel group. (That’s something every adoptive family usually does while in Guangzhou… you dress your adopted children in traditional Chinese attire and sit them all on the White Swan Hotel’s red couch for a group photo.) I’ll try to post a few pictures for you all to see tomorrow.
Things have been pretty uneventful here lately- we’re basically just passing time until our Consulate Appointment tomorrow and our oath-taking ceremony the day after. Then the morning after that, we head home- we can’t wait! It’s been nice to lay low these past couple of days- its good for us to keep things simple for Kelly’s sake. She has experienced so much change in the past week; the less stimulation we subject her to, the better.
We opted out of the tour of the Buddhist Temple and other city attractions yesterday… no disrespect to Buddhists, but we’re personally not big on Buddha- sorry. Besides, the weather has been so inclement here that if it’s not raining when you head out, it’s likely that it will be at some point if you stay out for long.

For instance, yesterday, after Kelly’s nap, we headed out for a walk and then we were going to grab a bite for dinner. When we first got out, we noticed the air felt a bit cooler and there was a nice breeze. “Aaahh, isn’t this refreshing?” we said to one another. But within fifteen minutes of going out, this blanket of darkness began to blow over and covered the sky. It went from looking like it was 5 PM to looking like it was 10 PM within minutes! Everyone started scurrying- locals, tourists, and businessmen- we were all trying to get to shelter before the rain started dumping. Dump it did, but thankfully we made it back to our hotel before we got drenched. We stayed in for the remainder of the evening while the rain came down.

I don’t know how much you all are hearing about it there, (Jen D. thanks for asking!) but it has been raining more than usual here, and we hear there has been flooding in the Guangdong province, although we haven’t seen any ourselves. More rain is expected throughout the remainder of the week in Southern China, and Hong Kong’s forecast doesn’t look any better, so I sure hope it doesn’t delay our plans to leave on Friday. We are scheduled to depart Guangzhou for Hong Kong around 8:30 AM; then we leave Hong Kong for LA around noon. So far, we aren’t too concerned… rain usually doesn’t stop flights from coming and going, but we’ll see how things look come Friday.

We have done some shopping around Shamain Island in the past couple of days, which has been fun. Some of the places my adoptive friends have told me about do not appear to be here anymore, sadly. Rumor has it, rent has gone up, so some of the merchants can’t afford to stay in business here on the island anymore. But Jordan’s is here, and all the adoptive families love Jordan! He’s the friendliest local guy on the island- and he’s one of the only stores you can shop in without being hounded by a salesperson! I’m serious- you walk into a store and they immediately latch onto you like a tick! You move a half a step to the right, and they move a half a step to the right… you take two steps down one aisle, and they’re right there with you! It’s almost comical. They try to talk to your baby (which only makes Kelly cry- she does not like strangers!), and everything you look at, they pick it up and show it to you like they’re Vanna White, all the while commenting on how nice it is and how you really should have it.

Eating has been a challenge of sorts… there aren’t too many places that appear sanitary enough from which to eat, OR, that serve food that I would consider… well, “food.” There is a deli next to the White Swan Hotel that we like, and the Cow & Bridge is great, and then there’s a place called Lucy’s that serves more of an American fare. (Yes, Cheri, we love Lucy’s!) That’s where most of the adoptive families go- we’ve been there a half a dozen times and we run into adoptive families every time we go.

Thankfully, Kelly is adjusting very well, all things considered. She sleeps soundly through the night, which we’re extremely grateful for. She definitely has her fussy times throughout the day, but it’s nothing abnormal and I’m sure she’s still got lots of grief and frustration she’s working through. At least she’s comfortable enough to express herself and isn’t shut down. She appears to be cutting a few more teeth, so that could be part of her fussiness as well.She’s very attached to me and doesn’t like if it I so much as disappear into the bathroom for two minutes. She’s still having a hard time warming up to Clint. It’s as if we take two steps forward and three steps back with each day that passes. He’ll get her warming up ever so slightly to him, and then the next day, she’ll wake up and cry as soon as he gets close to her- it’s as if he lost all the ground he gained the day before. He takes it in stride though and has started feeding her to see if that will help. She’s doing better, but is still resistant, but I just KNOW it won’t last forever.

She’ll soon realize he’s the best guy ever and she’ll be a daddy’s little girl- she’s just making him work for it. (That a girl, Kelly- that’s the attitude I want to see with boys about 15 years from now!)

For all of you family members and Visalians who will be meeting Kelly soon after we get home, I just want to warn you- she’s very leery of strangers. Most people make her cry, so don’t take it personally if that happens! Some people get right up in her face, and that freaks her out. Chinese people often do this to her when we’re out and about, and I know they mean well, but she hates it. She’ll cry and scream and look to me like, “Mommy, please make them go away!”

Some people are just friendly and boisterous, understandably- they’re excited to greet a darling, little baby! But, if they’re too excited for Kelly’s liking, they usually make her cry too. Women have a better chance than men, but just to give you a heads up: if you go easy with her and just keep a slight distance at first, but definitely do engage her and talk softly to her, it will give her the time she needs to decide you’re okay. She’s much better about meeting new people if she knows she’s safe in my arms, so I’m sure I’ll be holding her a lot and I doubt she’ll want to be passed around much at first. Does that sound super high-maintenance? I’m sorry if it does- I’m just trying to share what I know of her so you know what to expect and we can spare Kelly any more trauma than she’s already experienced. I am so eager to have everyone meet her right away, but I know we will need to be sensitive to her and not overwhelm her, so if we have to “cocoon” for a bit after we get home, please understand and know that it won’t be forever. We don’t mean to shut anyone out- we love you all so much and know you love us and want to welcome Kelly home to her new community, but we just want to give her the time she needs to adjust to everything as gradually as possible. You guys are gold and I so appreciate everyone’s love and understanding.

Kim, Merllie, and anyone else considering this amazing adoption journey- I have to tell you! If you think adoption might be something for your family, you just wait until you meet little Miss Kelly! You will be head-over-heels and ready to start paperwork the very next day! (You have to come and visit, Merl! I know it was just a side comment Braiden made, but you just never know what might plant that seed!)

I remember when I first met my niece, Hannah- it was one of the strangest, most powerful feelings of, “WOW, she is so amazing,” I have ever felt. I never would have known what a wonderful thing adoption really was until I saw her with my own eyes- this real little person God created to be loved and enjoyed, just like I grew up longing to be… I realized she was no different than me, even if she may have looked different, or had a different background, she still had that same basic need I had, and I just remember being awestruck that I never would have had the opportunity to know this precious little girl had my sister and her husband not opened their hearts to adoption. You see, when I met Hannah, she changed from this sweet, but distant idea, to a very tangible, precious little PERSON. It was one thing to talk about her and support my sister in her adoption from a distance, but it was a completely different thing to see her with my own eyes and touch her with my own hands. Aside from my spiritual awakening to Jesus Christ, it was one of the biggest awakenings I think I have ever experienced. I remember thinking, “Oh my goodness. Lord, is that you, or is it just my own emotions?”I remember telling my friend (and then, pastor’s wife), Anna, about it, and she advised me to commit to praying about it for a year before moving forward one way or another (remember Annabee?), so I waited and prayed on it, actually for more than a year, and, well, you know the rest of the story!But I remember that first prayer I prayed-- it was almost one of surrender… “Okay, God, if this is something you might want for me, please show me your will and help me to have the courage and resources to carry it out.”

I’m so glad I prayed that prayer and so many others as this miracle unfolded, because what a wonderful, amazing experience this has been! And I know it’s only the beginning, but I already can’t imagine our lives without this precious little gift of our daughter- I remember wondering if she would feel foreign or unnatural when I held her in my arms, but oh my goodness, not ever for a second! She’s as much my own as if she had grown inside my womb. Caleb and Camryn- you get ready to have your hearts stolen right out from under your noses, because your little sister is going to do just that! So those of you toying with the idea- please know that if you open yourselves up to what God might have for you, you just never know! You very well may find yourself here in China a couple of years from now, or who knows where else you might end up on your own adoption journey. All I know is that I’m willing to bet you will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams.

Thanks everyone, for continuing to share all the fun, loving, supportive comments! You guys are the greatest. I wish I had time to address each one of you personally, but I hope every one of you know how much you bless us when you give us that encouragement and support. We’re so thrilled to have shared this journey with you, and we’re happy you’ve enjoyed it too. We’ve missed you all and can’t wait to get home to see/talk to all of you! Only two days left! I’ll try to get more pictures today and tomorrow! Kelly’s been too busy for me to get many good ones of her, but here she is doing a little walking in our room, and then of course, hanging out at Starbucks again. Isn’t she the cutest thing ever?

Update:We took “red couch” photos today. It went very well and the pictures will be waiting for my sister to post when she wakes up, so watch for them! If it stops raining long enough for us to get out tomorrow, we’ll try to take some more pictures out in the beautiful surroundings of Shamain Island one last time before we go. If not, you just might have to endure a few more shots of Kelly in her chair at Starbucks!
Kelly’s doing better with Clint today; little by little… he’s working his charm on her and I think she’s nearly hooked!
Also, the forecast for Friday in Guangzhou and Hong Kong is partly sunny, so that’s great news for us to fly home!




6 comments:

Unknown said...

It's going to be hard, but we COMPLETELY understand needing to lay low for a while and when we do see Kelly to give her some space. She'll be in good company with high-maintenance Liberty. She has her fussy times and stranger issues as well. All things considered it looks like Kelly is doing remarkably well. I love the "scrunchy" funny face picture. You've already got more pictures of Kelly smiling than I've been able to catch of Libby. She is LOVING having Kathryn and Ryan home for the summer to entertain her though. In a few weeks Kelly won't be able to get enough of her big brother and sister either. Libby has started talking and calls Ryan "bud-duh" (brother) and Kathryn something that sounds like sister, but she's consistent in the sound she makes, so she's definitely calling her something. She's got the mamma and dadda good and strong too. I'll get her practicing on "Kelly". Can't wait until your safe at home.

Love,
Jen

~natty and barclay said...

Kelly's hair is growing! I love the photo of Boo with the little boy. It looks like he is asking her, Hey, beautiful, Ya come here often?"! What wonderful pictures. I posted a long post about Boo being a future gymnist with her acrobatic abilities (in the chair at Starbbucks) and it is gone?! Anyway, I just wish I could smoochie her little hams (thighs). Is Kelly trying to talk? Ma Ma or Da Da? I know I say it over and over but she is such a doll! I love your commentary and know that keeping up with a 13 month old keeps you busy, but thank you so much for sharing all these blessings, milestones, progresses, photos, culture, and incidentials with us. It has excited me each day to see what will be next! I have noticed that I haven't seen her little blankie or lovey. She obviously is getting a lot more comfortable with ya'll and clinging to you rather than it. Let her cling!!! You are an awesome Mama and Clint is an extraodinary Daddy. What a team you two make! Caleb and Camryn along with Kelly are so blessed to be loved, cherished and raised in a family living out their faith in Christ and following Biblical principles in the daily details of life! I am praying for travel mercies for you as you follow the red thread home. Send more pictures! Smoochie on Boo's little hams for me! Hugs!

Blomquist Blog said...

Hi Jen!
She is absolutely beautiful in her Traditional Chinese clothing! I just love the pictures. The one of her looking at the little boy is just priceless. She seems so full of wonder and excitement. Safe travels home and if you see a tent in your front yard, it is just us awaiting to meet your new daughter. Just kidding--we will come visit when Kelly has adjusted more. Sounds good though huh?! Love you guys!

Love,

Debbie

Kim O'Neal said...

Oh my gosh I have to say I LOVE her wild hair.
I totally understand Kelly will not be to sure of us at first. It will be so hard for us to lay it low but I could only imagine how she will feel. You know were we are and we can't wait for the phone call to come and meet Kelly.
Being a neighbor I can't wait to watch her grow and watch her play with Carson Ct kids. It will be fun.
Thank You for your amazing letter. God does plant seeds everywere and you never know maybe little Kelly is carring that special seed. I pray for your safe return home and I pray that Kelly will do good on the LONG flight home.
You enjoy your family when you get home and get some sleep and try to get back on our time.
Enjoy the last few days in China.

Miss you all
Kim

Unknown said...

Just had to say she was the cutest baby in those pictures :) No offense to the other babies, I just love those chubby cheeks and bare feet!

Love you, Merl

Cheri and Shane said...

I'm so happy to hear that everything is going GREAT and you are having lots of fun. Reading your entry has brought back so many memories. I can't believe it's been six months since we've been in China...I MISS IT!!

You are SO right about Jordan - his store is the best and he doesn't pressure any of his customers. I was cracking up when I read what you wrote about the people running up to you and holding the items trying to convince you that you HAVE to buy it. I've had women follow me out of the stores and keep screaming lower prices as I walked down the street...it's crazy!! LOL

I think what you posted about everyone being patient with Kelly at first was said perfectly. Hope did NOT like any of the Chinese women coming up to her while we were in China. My family was very supportive and didn't pressure Hope. After Hope realized that mommy & daddy weren't going anywhere, she was fine with all of our family. But for the first month or so, she HAD to be able to see at least one of us in the room at all times.

Sorry I typed such a long message. I just want you to know I'm really enjoying your blog entries. The pictures get cuter & cuter. Kelly is absolutely precious.

Enjoy your final days in China!!

Much love,
Cheri