Some Days are Good...

some days are bad.

Last Friday (the 13th, mind you~) was a good day. For the first time, Kelly let me snuggle her without putting up a fight. It was glorious. Right after I gave her her night time bottle, I just held her cradled in my arms, and instead of squirming to get down like she usually does, she just laid there and let me cradle her. I held her and looked down into her dark brown eyes and stroked her cheeks and forehead, and not only did she let me, but she even looked back up at me for a long time too. She had such a calm, sweet expression on her face. I couldn't believe it- I wanted someone to pinch me! Clint was amazed too. He was sitting on the couch across from us watching, and I heard him whisper, "Wow..."
It was a little slice of heaven, I tell you. You don't realize how precious those times are with your little ones until you don't get them.

Then there was yesterday...
Yesterday was a bad day. Kelly whined, fussed, and cried almost the entire day. She was very clingy, but unhappy at the same time. Nothing I did helped but for a moment. By the time evening came around, I felt so overstimulated... my ears especially, because I'd been listening to her loud, unpleasant noises all day long, so it started to feel like my eardrums were going to burst. This was day three of a string of less-than-good days, so my patience has been waning.

As I think about it, I think a couple of things have come into play with Kelly's disposition this week... it's so hard to know when they don't talk yet and can't tell you what's bothering them, but this is what I've surmised:

1) Camryn left for camp on Tuesday and has been gone all week. Kelly must wonder where she's gone and why. It may even make her wonder who else is going to go away next... maybe even herself..? (Thank God- Camryn comes home today!)
2) Since I was sick, Clint helped more with Kelly over the weekend. He held her a lot, and while it was good for Kelly to have that time with her dad, I think she got kind-of mad at me for abandoning her. In my "Taming the Tiger..." CD's, Nancy says that's normal when the mom takes a break- that a lot of times the little one will push her away when she returns because baby felt abandoned. So I'm thankful for that understanding and it helps motivate me to keep working at bonding with Kelly even though she's doing everything she can to make it difficult.
3) Kelly's still fighting this nasty cold we've all had. She may just feel bad (like I do), but she has no way to express it other than to act out.

So that's it! Here we are, living life, continuing to have our ups and downs.
That's my update for this week... I'll leave you with a silly picture for your amusement...